I’ve attempted to post so many times since posting Remy’s eulogy on June 5th and my fingers just stopped working, my brain just went to mush and tears rolled down my eyes. It may sound contradictory to the message I set out to send. A message Remy embedded into so many, but it was a piece of me that seized to work and maybe it is just because I feel the urge to honor her on this special day that am able to do it today.
I’d be lying if I told anyone that Mary and I will find much joy in today. In fact so much of our feelings through this holiday season are pure anger, sadness and angst in the most severe forms. We are human. How else can I put it? But we will try our hardest to find joy. We have our amazing parents, our brothers and sisters and our new baby nieces, Madison and Mackenzie, SuperTy , and all of you to be grateful for. And…..for as much as we miss Remy, for as much pain as both Mary and I feel, there are moments we can close ours eyes in complete quiet and while tears are inevitable every time, we can’t match the feeling that she gave me us in life. We miss it in a way I wont attempt to describe, but I promised my daughter I would never let that feeling go to waste.
What joy we do find in today will be largely due to the fact that Mary, myself and our families remember each and every day how kind people truly are. So many of you that we know so well, that we have met along the way, and some of you who we will never have the pleasure of meeting, have showed us great examples of humanity. Our parents, siblings, friends, families and medical staff literally held us from falling and crumbling so many times throughout this year. All of you have been hero’s to us in so many ways. You have given us and continue to give us strength we know we would not possess without you. We have heard from many of you how you were inspired by Remy’s journey and all that surrounded it. We too are inspired by the humanity of so many of you.
Please ‘Remember Remy’. Remember her strength, her fight, her beauty, her story. Remember by giving an extra hug to your child, or an extra tickle with your niece or nephew or loved one when things may be stressful, when the turkey is burned today or your upset about your football team losing or whatever it may be remember the big stuff. Remember by celebrating life when you find it difficult to appreciate life. Remember in your own way but most of all please continue beyond the holidays.
I leave you with something that inspired us after Remy passed. An email from a close friend Phil. His daughter put a post it on her folder at school. He sent it along with this simple message and it made us smile and I think of it often.
“Hope you guys are doing ok. Emily did this to her folder at school … no prompting from us.”