This was the moment we had been waiting for. Mary was loopy from the pain killers and had been immobile for a few days. She had moments of excruciating pain, tears, followed by joy. Despite the ups and downs of recovering, meeting Remy was all she had on her mind.
It was our second day in ICU and just about 48 hours from Remy’s birth when she actually was able to see her daughter. Earlier in the day we went for a walk with the nurse around half of the ICU floor. Mary used a walker and had ton of monitors IV’s and a battery pack attached to her. It was quite an ordeal. What normally would ave been a 30 second walk, was a 20 minute walk.
Our nurse let us know that she was cleared to meet Remy. Eventually a wheelchair was sent up and we were able to escort Mary and her assortment of machines down to the NICU. While Mary was excited she was equally scared. Remember, she’s on extremely high doses of morphine and had lost a lot of blood in the last 48 hours. She was afraid of infecting Remy. Mary was also in so much pain, that slightest move would cause spasms and screeches and she was even worried about startling Remy.
Once we arrived the nurses all smiled and welcomed her. The doctor on duty was gazing at her from afar. I pushed her chair and held her power pack that monitored her vitals, while the nurse was rolling her IV stand. Once we came around the corner and helped Mary wash her hands, it was love at first sight! We wheeled her in as a close as possible and she was able to barely reach in with one hand touch Remy, and while sobbing told her how much she loved her. As a husband and now a father, through all of this process I naturally go into a protective mode and try to be the rock for Mary. This is my family and my only priority at this moment is them. Once I locked eyes with Mary my eyes were raining tear drops on the top of the incubator from above where I was standing. So much for the rock. Regardless, it was an amazing moment!
These are the moments that are difficult to describe. I find it best to just say that a moment such as this is one in which you just have a roller coaster of emotions and you can’t help but feel them to the fullest, and whatever involuntary reactions your body has, smiles, tears, laughs, whatever, they all just explode at once!